little bit of you

Can I have a little bit of you?
A little bit of you in my life.
Promise you I won’t ask for more
Only just a little bit of you…

All I want is the smell of your hair,
And maybe the space behind your ear
Is that too much to ask?
Coz without them this life I cannot bear…

Sometimes things seem so simple,
When it’s just you and me
And then the complications appear coz’,
In this world what we have is hard to believe

The world that slots and labels everything
Where there are always matching pegs and holes
The world that doesn’t understand emotions
No wonder is unable to fathom what we own

I believed always it was you and me
Weathering this storm together
So when did these doubts start creeping in?
Doubts that moved us apart further?

Doubts that are creeping into my heart now
Wondering what you really wanted
Was I blinded by my emotions?
Blinded not to see what you seeked...

I know not what lies beneath this,
Beneath the deep calm sea so blue
But I hope you realize, darling
That all I ever wanted was just a little bit of you…

dot in love

[All our young lives we search for someone to love. We choose partners, change partners... all the while wondering if there's someone, somewhere, searching for us - Bertrand Russel]

I promised you that I would be writing about this. Do didn’t seem to mind too, but now I am having second thoughts about it as the situation is still precarious. The clear day that was supposed to come never did. But it would be unappreciative not to say that things are better. Still its been 3 months and I guess it would be okay to write about it.

Am I not making sense? Well, I suppose not. For this to make sense I have to go a long way back. The days when Dot used to be preoccupied. Not to mention that he was losing wait like a bucket with a large hole at the bottom. After one of the Coffee Day meets when he seemed to be tensed more than the usual amount and when Mush also asked me what was wrong with him I confronted him. I mean, a guy whom you know to be a certified workaholic and hates to get up to pee for 2 minutes takes leave for 3-4 days you gotta assume something’s wrong. The gang was slowly walking down from the Bombay Store to Church Street and I managed to get him in private.

I asked him, “So, Whats up?” Needless to say I am not much of conversationalist when it comes to prying. Dot said, “Nothing”. “You sure?”, I asked, “You seem upset these days, Dude. You are losing weight and can’t see you in office like it used to be”. He said, “I am fine”. That “I am fine” would have convinced me if he hadn’t sounded like he wanted to put hands through his throat and rip his heart off. I had a hunch, a pretty good one as hunches go and decided to play it, “Is it her?”. He asked, “Who?” When I said the name he blurted “ What?? Noooo Way Dude!! I have some family problems, that’s all!!”

It would have ended there, if he had not called me to the rooftop cafeteria at work. But that’s the second part…Right??

zen and the life of 23 years

[ There was a star danced, and under that was I born -William Shakespeare ]

THE calendar says October 14. Two more days and I would have completed 23 years on this planet. Whew…hmmm… (Tongue tied)

I think this is the time to look back or am I too young to reminisce, don’t know! Its been a good life. Not that it couldn’t have been better but then it could have been a lot worse too. That’s the problem with being a Libran; you think both sides of anything. I bet that if a Libran were asked to jump into a pool of lava he would be considering the merits and demerits of a back-flip and kick-drop. Had a lot of losses and a lot of gains and still more losses and even bigger gains. Kinda like a mixed up bag, but then, I suppose everyone’s life is the same. Remembered something I read somewhere – “You are unique, just like everyone else”

...................Today the calendar says November 11th. Almost a month later I am completing this...............

I can’t believe how much my life has changed in this one month. Not changed, but it has been a quite an eventful month.

The birthday I had, made so special by my special friends, Musheer; who was there with me all the time, Div; who was away but felt close, Pavi; my official secretary of the day, Bidisha; who came all the way from Pune, Nirupesh; The tech net, Dot; who gave me the most cherished gift, Krits; who couldn’t stay for long, Vinnae, Vidya, Naveen, Sweet Karma…………

I am so late in updating the blog. Well, what to do? Did not have much time to sit, contemplate and type coz I was running around. What was I running around for? Hmm…tricky.. Well why don’t I leave that for other posts?? Coz, journeying a 1000 miles in search of a friend's true love, trying to quit the job and failing, Your best friend and partner leaving the company, speaking out things that were hidden in the depths of my heart, finding something that was not quite what you wanted or what you expected…..all these are things that take a lot of time, space and leisurely disposition. Wait……

..and then there were none

[ Hitherto shalt thou go and no further - Job 40 : 5 ]

I guess this is the final chapter to the story of the cup. In case you missed it you can read about it here. I am sorry if the blog reminded some juvenile delinquent of their inane school days. Hmm…wonder when those people will understand that the matter that constitutes us is what makes everything in the world and its their conformist attitude that prevents them from seeing the soul in everything.

Anyway, as I was saying before this mundane affair caught my attention, at last I said goodbye to the cup that was a permanent fixture on my desk. Motu was the lucky (?) guy. When I returned from my weekend, I found that it was resting on his desk instead of the corner of my document tray. Bad riddance to good rubbish?

Hmm…Have I told you about the document tray I cant seem to get rid of? Whoa! I can see the look of horror on your face. Ok, I am not putting that story up here.

how much is enough?

[ wanted to write on the breakpoint of human endurance, don't have any idea how it turned out to be a poem. Anyway, thanks Mush, for the genuine positive feedback (It was genuine coz I didn't say I wrote it the first time) ]

How Much Is Enough?

When things are going from bad to worse,
When trails that ran smooth turn rough,
and each breath feels like a stab in chest.
You ask yourself, how much is enough?

Life feels like pushing against a wall,
Days have made you forget to laugh
rolling on in a dreary endless roll
You cannot help asking, how much is enough?

Gods playing mad dice with your life,
Devil making your mind a psychedelic canvas
painting them with colors of lunacy and strife.
You feel at last, this is enough

Searching for that elusive thing called peace,
wandering lost in the world devoid of senses,
you finally find it, all this time within your reach.
within your reach, when you finally realized what was enough

- Harish