Chacha Chaudhary and Gabbar Singh

Dusting up my old book collection is one of my favorite past times when I’m home. For two reasons, One, Mom’s constant complaint that I don’t keep my stuff organized kinda tones down and most importantly..it throws up some of the gems and dregs that used to occupy my collective readingscape.

One such gem (?) that I stumbled upon today was an old issue of … (hold your breath) Chacha Chaudhary!!!

If you don’t know it by now, Chacha Chaudhary is the absolute king of shitty comics. But this is no regular, everyday shittyness... Chacha Chaudhary is so shitty that it is actually fun to read! How many other comics do you know that are the centre of their own cosmic paradox?

Its not easy to say what makes Chacha Chaudhary a classic: Bad Grammar, Plots with more holes than a slice of cheddar cheese, Crappiest drawings, illogical stories….the list goes on! I could try to explain more but it would make it much easier if you saw it for yourself.

The strip here is one of the classics and has none other than the quintessential villain of bollywood India, Gabbar Singh featuring in it. Yeah, the flights of fancy the comic took were unfathomable!

So if you've ever asked yourself, "Who would win in a fight - Chacha Chaudhary or Gabbar Singh?" you're about to find out. Come on; don't say you've never thought about it.

Chacha Chaudhary and Gabbar Singh

What strikes you immediately is the incredible amount of story they've compressed into one page. In five frames, they've gone from Chacha Chaudhary aimlessly leading a horse around town to Gabbar Singh sitting astride said horse, trying to get it to move. But that's short-lived, as he gets pissed off again because the horse doesn't move.

Whoa!!! Hasn't he heard of the SPCA? I guess he gets his kicks tying crackers to horses' tails! "Now it will run". Is that how he starts his horse up every morning? I don't know how many years after Sholay this story is set, but obviously Gabbar Singh is no longer the cunning murderous dacoit we know and love. Just look at how foolishly he sits there while Chacha Chaudhary ties crackers - crackers! - to the horse's butt.

Did you get it now? Did you? Did you?

The horse was trained by Chacha Chaudhary! Do you realize what that means?

The sick fuck actually trained the horse to gallop to the police station every time he set firecrackers to his tail. He could have trained him to do exactly the same thing after just a pat on the back. But no, the senile bastard has to go with the bloody firecrackers.

And in case you haven't figured out why Chacha Chaudhary was suddenly walking around with a horse, why he went though all the trouble orchestrating this weird twisted plan, it's spelled out for you right there:

For an old man with basically just one set of clothes, he's frighteningly greedy.

This story has everything you need to enjoy a Chacha Chaudhary comic - weird translations, screwed up drawings, and a form of logic that could fry any child's mental faculties. Plus... it has Gabbar Singh. Yes, this story had everything... except Sabu. This world would be a better place if all stories had more Sabu in them. In fact, even Sholay could have been made better by simply including Sabu in it. Can't you just see it?

I’ll try to get a clip featuring Sabu. In case you don’t know him, hes from Jupiter, is 60 Feet Tall and every time he gets angry a volcano erupts somewhere in the universe. Do I hear you barfing??