Thursday, September 11, 2008

rhyme sans reason


He was lying on the base of the mountain. His whole body was bruised and battered, the broken knee cap was sending searing shooters of pain across his whole leg, but his mind was elsewhere.


Thinking about her...he could hear the sounds from up the slope. She was falling too. Tumbling down the slope, like him, a few minutes ago. Her screams were dopplering down to him, in waves. That hurt him more than the leg.

What did they do wrong? They were kids, god-damn it!

All they wanted was some water. In their parched land, it had to be drawn from the last remaining well at the top of the hill. He had tripped on his way up...and now this.

All for a pail of water...

His lasts thoughts were crazy as he was delirious with pain.

He imagined kids like them, millions of them, singing about their fates. Singing like mad demented idiots.

Jack smiled through his pain and lost consciousness. and did not hear Jill's final scream echoing off the hills...



[i was inspired by a random post in a blog which i sadly do not remember...the writer had done a better work (much much better work) than me on the "johnny johnny.." one. sadly, i do not remember who it was. damn, teaches me to fav a site as soon as i decide i like it!!]

27 views:

Pavi!!!! said...

wooo hooo !! i was wondering where this story is going n thot it was one of those "typical" stories...
n then broke out laughin in the end! fabulous!!!haha! I'm not going to say "what's in a name" for the next few days..after all the name is wat made a difference to this post :)

Nishanth said...

ROTFLAO!!.....
thats wat we did when we read "JONNY JONNY..." and thats wat i am doin now..(wink)

Scribblers Inc said...

I was smiling when I read this...and you have done helluva job...way to go!! :)

yours truly
the inspiring author,

Scribblers Inc.

harish said...

@ Pavi
Thank you...I know...but hey it was fully inspired..I am an imitator

harish said...

@ Nishanth

Yeah man...and would you believe it? I lost the site!

harish said...

@ Scribbler

Hey....Thanks a lot..You know what, I puzzled over your sign off for a few seconds and then realized...

Really flattered that you think its good...BTW...what do you call this kind of "remix"?

Ranjani said...

You are so awe inspiring!! LOVE IT:)

Ranjani said...

I came back to say "profound"!

harish said...

@ Ranjani

profound? really? :-)

glad you think so...i thought it was downright silly...

but THANK YOU!!! your comments really made my day!!

Solitaire said...

And little did they know that people would also write about their woes in a blog!

harish said...

@ Solitaire

So true...their misfortunes never end... :-)

Anonymous said...

Hahahahaha!!!!!!!
This is a nice variation... :D

Anonymous said...

LOL....hilarious! Some imagination! Wish I could write like this...whow! Loved it...hehehe...was holding my sides and laughing!

i'll keep visiting :)

harish said...

@mirrorcrackd
thank you!

@albhabetworld
glad that I could make you laugh, and trust me, it aint that tough to write stuff like this...get drunk/stoned/psyched...comes naturally LOL

Anonymous said...

I thought it to be like one of those novel similar to the story like 'wispering wind'.... we never think of jack n jill from a non poetry angle... good harish, U r goot at all these...

Pavi!!!! said...

Drop into my space when u get the time silly :) therez sumthing for u there!

n stop showin off now!

Vinz said...

nice work friend...

i have read the johny work too..its by one scribblers...!!

this concept is getting gud..!!

:)

Anonymous said...

You've been tagged! :D

harish said...

@ Karma

Whispering Wind? Who's it by? WOuld love to read it...

harish said...

@ Pavi

Wowww...Saw dat now...Thank You!!

harish said...

@ Vinz
Yes...he actually commented a few lines above...

harish said...

@ Alphabet World

Saw the tag...and accepted :-)

Santosh said...

Nice blog dude :)
Although most of it goes above my head.....

Preethi said...

uhoh... a nice morbid touch to jack and jill!! My son keeps climbing the little grass hill in my back yard and saying.. I am not like Jack I am going to be careful on this dangerous hill!! :)

Preethi said...

by the way.. first time here.. came from Pavi's.. nice writing style you have.. I will be back!!

harish said...

@ Santy
Now you know how I felt in WT classes with your doubts...Payback Time!! :-D

@ Preethi

That was a cute one...I hope you won't tell him my version of Jack'Jill...

And you are welcome here anytime...

Solitaire said...

I have put up pictures of the hurricane damage on my blog.