advantages of being single

[ i really want to love somebody. I do. I just don't know if it's possible forever and ever - jim carrey ]

well, before staring this let me give a disclaimer, this is no justification for the life I lead, this is no rant against the oh-so-happy couples (never seen one of those) and neither are these words of resentment. I am writing this, as always, to tell what I feel. Because I always don’t get time to talk to myself in any form and writing the views I have, however radical or obtuse they maybe relaxes me like I had a long chat with the me.

the debatable point is that once the relationship is over the gut-wrenching pain that follows is unimaginable. When someone leaves you, apart from missing them, apart from the fact that the whole little world you've created together collapses, and that everything you see or do reminds you of them, the worst is the thought that they tried you out and, in the end, the whole sum of parts adds up to you got stamped REJECT by the one you love. How can you not be left with the personal confidence of a passed-over Indian Railway sandwich?

that was debatable because you never disregard something because of the suffering at the end of it. Do we hate life because of the scepter of death that we know is looming at the end of it? Well, I believe it’s not just the suffering at the end. Its also the suffering that is present each and every moment in love. The jealousies, the partings, the responsibilities, the oh-so-silly commitments, oh-so-even-more-silly arguments. With due apologies to all the poets and philosophers, I have never seen love that has set us free or kept us alive. For me, love is something that transcends all emotions, which exceeds explanations and understanding the other person completely.

being single is easier I guess. With friends like the ones I have its fun too. Everyday I wake up, not thinking about what nuances of my partners whim and fancy I am going to hate today or what constricting obligation my girlfriend is going to slap on me. Instead, I am filled with a sense of freedom, freedom to think about myself, freedom to feel what I want to feel without feeling guilty, freedom walk and get wet in the rain, freedom of not looking at the watch all the time so that I don’t miss a second, freedom of not being enslaved to the mobile phone checking it every second for that elusive missed call or message and above all freedom to be myself with each soul I meet.

i think that’s one of the most obnoxious factors about a relationship. The way people pretend and shadow dance. Come on; is it so arduous to be yourself? Isn’t that why you fell in love, in first place. If not stop this shadow boxing. The mental agony and stress of pretending is going to get you after sometime and destroy any semblance of a relationship. Being a lone wolf, I count myself blessed because I can be myself. No pretending (like someone I know of) that you love cats because your girlfriend has 3 of them and when she is not around kick them hard just for the pleasure of it or fervently swearing that you hate beauty pageants because they commercialize feminity and be glued to FTV midnight everyday. By the way, both these guys are happily cat-kicking FTV-watching single and their ex’s have found other wimps.

don’t get me wrong, people. In the end, I am like all other guys. I obviously don’t plan to remain single for the rest of my life. I want someone too, but not so desperately that I’d settle with the next entry in who’s-who of Human Crap. I’ll wait for the right one, one with whom I can be unadulterated-untainted-dirty minded-crazy guy I am. I know it takes a lot of time to get someone like that, if they exist, in the first place. Till then I’ll enjoy with the wrong ones, my friends, dog and Smirnoff. Because in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.